Thursday, January 3, 2013

Lift Me Up, Momma

It was said in such an every day tone of voice, full of confidence that of course I would lift him up. He needed up, and that's what Momma does. But it hit me with such force. I experienced that blinding moment of clarity that shakes you to the core.

"Lift me up, Momma." Such a simple concept. That is my job, my responsibility, my privilege. I am to "lift him up." We've always felt that our role as his parents was to make him a self-sufficient adult. But there are a lot of theories out there on how to do that. Some people advocate attachment parenting. They co-sleep, they practice child-lead weaning, and they see no need to go somewhere without their children. They say that they are making sure that their children are confident, that they will know their parents are always there for them. Other people go the other direction, Cry It Out, sleep in their own room from day one, let them learn that they can wait, etc. They say that they are teaching them self-reliance.

I'm not saying that either one is good or bad. I've done aspects of both. Both of these parenting styles are working towards the same goal. The same one that I'm working toward. A self-sufficient adult.

Finn clarified it for me the other day. My job is to lift him up. He has to learn to do so much on his own, and I can't do it for him. I have to let him do it. But, I can be there for him. I can guide him, I can encourage him, and when he needs it, I can lift him up!